My cousin sister who has just passed out her Master’s, takes classes. So everyday, children pass by our door ( as my uncle lives besides us), I like to observe them everyday.
Their parents at times come with them to drop them off to the class. One of the children’s yesterday was asking his mother for new cycle and his mother denied, saying ‘she would come with him to drop him to the class every day but they can’t afford cycle right now’.
and that boy said, ‘I hate you momma .. you don’t do anything for me’. The moment he said so, I looked at his mom and even though she knew, he was just a kid, I could see the instant sadness, instant regret on her face.
To that child, his parents is still an invulnerable deity. But the child is missing the point. Their words do hurt. They can make their parents cry ( in private). The child simply can’t grasp how desperate and anxious their parents might be… how every morning their parent might be staring in the bathroom mirror, thinking of things that speak to them about their wrongly lived life…
They won’t know that their parent has shielded them from their fragility.
Something related may happen when employees get together to gossip about the person they work for. In their imagination, the boss is so above them that it couldn’t possibly matter what they say about them.
It’s only when they themselves reach to that position when they start to realize how vulnerable the person in charge might feel and that how important and normal it is to want to be liked and how imperfect your self-esteem could be.
That child did not do it purposefully.. it’s just lack of his understanding at that level that makes him feel it perfectly fine to say so.
However young we are, however forgotten, ignored we feel we are, we should be aware that we have a power to cause serious damage to others.
It isn’t until we grow old when we understand that we may all, whoever we may be, we can ruin someone’s day thorough a few incautious, misplaced words.
So next time, when you put down your opinion, talk in the meetings, interact with people, do note of the words you use and the things you talk…
I understand no one is perfect and some or the other we would do mistakes but better to keep an eye on them so that those mistakes won’t happen again.. neither intentionally nor unintentionally.